Friday, May 28, 2010

Relationships...What's inna name?

Between males and females in particular there is always a need for defining a relationship. "That's my home girl" He's my friend" "She's my girl on the side" "I'm wifey". But what happens if a title is not placed on the relationship? What if it remains undefined? Better yet, why is there a need for titles?

I've thought about it and I'm really undecided. If you meet a guy who treats you like a queen, but won't put the word girlfriend on your forehead, does that make you any less important to him? If you get phone calls from him only at two in the morning, but he says that you are his girlfriend does that mean he really cares about you more?

Say two people meet and enjoy each other a lot. They do the things that a couple would do, but even after a couple of months, a title has not been placed on the relationship.
Where do you go from there? More importantly if a title isn't placed on the relationship in question should it be ended? Do you risk putting strain on whatever it is you two have to ask the other person to make it official---- over a word? Noone wants to be strung around, but at the same time, you don't want to end up in a uncomfortable situation (i.e. he finds a girl whom he actually refers to as his girlfriend).

Is being hesitant to put a title on anything just another way to show that you don't wanna be committed? Can titles complicate things?
*edit* What could POSSIBLY be more complicated than the frustration of the two of you dating other people then getting mad about hearing about it? What could be more complicated than truly enjoying someone but basically just waiting for the other shoe to drop and them having to tell you that they have found someone that they want to "be" with. Would it really be more complicated than just saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend? Maybe being in a boyfriend /Girlfriend type relationship will change they way the couple operates which could definitely become a problem if they love how everything is now....Hmmmm

Now that I think about it, maybe titles and definitions don't mess up a relationship. Maybe people do. Maybe if there is communication about what is expected before anyone places a title, the fun that was had before hand can be maintained. And MAYBE the avoidance of a title is justa way to say that you don't want to be "tied down", or committed to that person. You may want that person, but you want a few others too, lol

Just some random stuff I have been thinking, That is all!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Matters of the heart

It's funny how when dealing with matters of the heart, there can be two people who are romantically involved with each other in the same situation, and yet, two completely different things are happening in two separate worlds. That's why open, honest, and thoughtful communication is so very important to the vitality of any relationship. When you eliminate communication, you are allowing assumptions to take the front seat and drive which is always dangerous.

For example, here's the reality of the situation: A man and a woman are romantically involved/ "dating"
HE SAYS: This is just a fling, she and I aren't be anything more. We go out, we have sex, end of story.
SHE SAYS: We are together, Even though we never discussed it. We go out, we have sex, he's my man.

DO you see where wires can get crossed? A simple talk could have cleared things up for both parties, and yet, we so often neglect to voice exactly what it is we want out of a situation when we go into it. Probably because everything is always great in the beginning, and both parties may think a "talk" could mess things up. But if you think a talk could mess things up, that is perhaps when you need to talk the most. That way both parties leave with their dignity and their hearts still intact.

Two people, one situation, and yet two completely different stories....